Recently while I was assisting on the NLP Mastering Advanced Techniques and the NLP Practitioner seminars in London I had several people (some of whom had read my book) come up to me and ask about calibration skills…
One of the simple things I demonstrated and explained to them also looks very magical, just like mind reading and well it is! So I’ve written it up.
You will surprise yourself at just how easy this is to do. In a social situation, in a bar, at home, in the office, out and about anywhere you can talk to someone, you can do this. To start with you can ask somebody you are close to in a comfortable situation to help you out, or you can just go for it and ‘play it big’ in a bar one evening!
Ask someone to tell you five things that they did last week, like: “cycled to work every morning” or “ate corn flakes and toast most morning for breakfast”. You ask them to tell you five things that they did last week, but to lie about one of them.
And you tell them which one was the lie.
You can repeat this again and again, remembering the other person was happy to help you the first time… what about the second time, or the third?
Always leave them wanting more! A very important concept that professional entertainers (the good ones) understand and use to their advantage, here it is worth remembering too. You can bore a friend of yours doing this over and over, or appear cool doing this just a couple of times. You can always find someone to practice with because: “I have invested a lot of my time and money learning these skills and wondered if you would be happy to help me benefit and get the most out of my investment, by helping me practice?” … ‘Yes’ … “Great, would you tell me five things that you did last week…”
As they happily rattle through the four things they did last week and the one lie, you simply watch for any break in pattern. From the NLP eye accessing cue model we know that people look upwards when they visualize, generally people look up to the right (your right) when remembering and to the left (your left) when imagining things.
So when you see someone look up to the right four times and up to the left once, you know that the time they looked up to the left side was the lie. This is a very simple example and chances are most of the time it won’t run like that. Maybe they will look down and to the right as you are looking at them (accessing internal dialogue, talking to themselves); just before they tell you things and look up when they tell the lie.
The point is to watch for a break in the pattern, as you try this and find how simple it is to tell when they are lying, you will see lots of variation in eye movement. The person may look up to the right (picturing an image), then down to the right (talking to themselves about it), and then down to the left (checking their feelings) before telling you. When they come to tell a lie they will do something different from this before talking.
The breaks in pattern are what you are looking for, try this it is so much easier than you might think…